Low Temperature Day 1

No September Baby for us this year. I just need to keep my mouth shut sometimes I think. But it's so hard when it is constantly on my mind. The only way I can think about anything else is if I give myself permission to blab somewhere.

I was so sure this time. Even Kevin was sure. Or maybe I just infected him. Personally, I think there probably was a little blastocyst in there for the last two weeks wreaking havoc on my hormones but for whatever reason it did not stick. In any case, I'm currently menstruating.

I was blessed by the Hand of the Lord in all this. Yesterday, when I still had a high temperature, I had a brief moment of crampy-feeling ache in my back. It wasn't itself so bad, but it suddenly made very real the possibility that I would get to Christmas--the day I got to say I officially knew I was pregnant--and not be pregnant. This was a depressing thought. But because of the blessed premonition, I was able to take the time to pray about it then and refocus myself out of my own desires and on to what the Lord has in store for our family. That made it a lot easier this morning when I just couldn't get the thermometer to go any higher than the average low.

And be this all as it may, there is no way that it has cured me, because since the first realization this morning my mind has been working very hard and finally shared with me the (I'm sure) true explanation that probably I am just miscarrying a twin and I'll probably still be pregnant when it is all through. I'll keep you posted.