It Was A Sign

This is why I am pregnant today:

So, it is possible this is the first day of my pregnancy. And then this morning I waited to eat as I was making breakfast. I got to the point, as I do every morning, of feeling some pangs of hunger that usually pass after not too long and then I can enjoy my meal. Only this time they didn't pass. They got worse. And worse and worse. And I started feeling nauseated. I thought, "I need to eat something now before I can't and then I throw up. So I got some crackers and some peach juic e. It helped a little, but not completely. I was making pancakes and I continued mixing up the batter. I heated the griddles and poured the first ladles full when suddenly the smell of the batter hitting the hot griddles hit my olefactory nerves and I almost lost it. I had to leave the room so I didn't retch. I traded Kevin getting the kids dressed for making pancakes, and I stayed out of the room until they were all cooked and was then able to eat them for breakfast.

Later on that morning I learned about a medical emergency that a family in our ward is having and for which we were being asked to fast. Knowing how sick not eating made me this morning, I decided that I will join in prayer, but it would be better for me to keep eating regularly. Is it absolutely horrible of me, in the midst of another person's crisis, to even let such self-centered thoughts cross my mind as that perhaps I was given morning sickness today so that I would know not to fast my now (probably) pregnant body later on? Cause if it is horrible, I didn't think it. But if it's not so terribly horrible, then maybe I did just a little bit. Maybe if I don't feel sick at all tomorrow morning I will fast then. I do really hope and pray that all is well for this family and that recoveries are swift and complete.

OK, that's enough obsessing for the day. I do see the Hand of the Lord in my life. In real ways as well as neurotic ways. Even the mere fact that our bodies hold together and continue running every day, all day long seems like a miracle sometimes, especially when you see very close to home a medical issue come up out of the blue and strike down a seemingly healthy and normally functioning mother. Why did it happen? Wrong question. How is it that that doesn't happen to each of us all the time, every day? I am so grateful for my health and my family's health. I love my God, and I am grateful that he provides for me even when I twist every blessing to fit my own (widely publicized) secert desires.